


The Palace of Apostasy

by Erina



Series: Future Past [3]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, P5R Spoilers, Temporary Character Death, de-aged akechi, de-aged akira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26482243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erina/pseuds/Erina
Summary: “Robin Hood?” he hears a voice tentatively call out.Goro startles, and his eyes widen when he sees who it is.It’s a boy around his age. He has messy black hair and a worried expression on his face similar to Goro’s, though he quickly puts on a wobbly grin as he approaches hesitantly. The sweatshirt that he’s wearing is a little too big on him and his jeans look worn out.He looks exactly like a small version of Joker.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: Future Past [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1863112
Comments: 114
Kudos: 789
Collections: Marigolds Discord Recs





	1. Goro (Age 7)

**Author's Note:**

> you don't have to have read the first two fics in the series to understand this one, but they will get referenced a lot. the actual plot of this is standalone though, so you'll just be missing backstories and existing character dynamics.
> 
> if you're asking when this takes place, it's sometime during both Future Past and Robin Hood and the Little Trickster (the actual point in time is unimportant). to clarify, those two fics exist in two separate universes and this is a third one that they all got yoinked to. let me know if anything is too confusing, and i'll try to clarify without spoiling!

Goro wakes up in a small room.

His back hurts, the small tufts of grass doing very little to soften the hardness of the ground digging into his spine. He sits up quickly. The last thing he remembers is whispering a quiet good night to Joker before curling up comfortably in the blanket and burrowing into the warm mattress. But now he is cold, a chilly breeze biting at his cheeks, and he doesn’t know how he ended up here.

“Robin Hood?” he hears a voice tentatively call out.

Goro startles, and his eyes widen when he sees who it is.

It’s a boy around his age. He has messy black hair and a worried expression on his face similar to Goro’s, though he quickly puts on a wobbly grin as he approaches hesitantly. The sweatshirt that he’s wearing is a little too big on him and his jeans look worn out.

He looks exactly like a small version of Joker.

“Joker-san?” Goro asks hopefully, taking a step forward.

The boy shakes his head, a certain disappointment washing over his face. Goro feels his own heart plummet. “You look just like Robin Hood,” he mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

Goro shakes his head. “It’s okay. You look like Joker-san too.” He peeks up tentatively at the other boy. He’s a stranger, but he doesn’t seem untrustworthy. The only other kids Goro’s age always make fun of him for having a mom who is a _pro-sti-tute_ or a dad who hates his existence. But this black-haired boy looks more embarrassed than anything. “I-I’m Goro. What’s your name?”

The boy blinks at him. “Akira,” he says softly, so softly that Goro has to strain his ears just to hear it.

“Akira,” Goro repeats. He remembers that Joker’s teammates had called him that before. So there must be a connection. He doesn’t know why Joker suddenly looks the same age as him, or why he’s so quiet and hesitant now, but Goro knows that there’s no way anyone related to Joker could be a bad guy. “D-do you know where we are?”

Akira shakes his head, and the two of them look around. They’re in a small section of what looks like a maze, tall bushes blocking on all sides. There’s nothing else there except for a slight opening in the bushes in front of them.

“I was in the cafe place with Joker-san last night,” Goro explains. It had been fun. The two of them had made a small tower out of all the empty bottles from the weird vending machine drinks. Mona accidentally knocked it down right before they could finish, and he had giggled at the look of horror on Joker’s face. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

“I don’t know either,” Akira says, kicking the dirt. “Robin Hood and I just came back from Me-men-tos and then I woke up here.”

“What’s Me-men-tos?” Goro asks curiously.

Akira perks up a little at that. “It’s this weird place with monsters,” he explains, his eyes shining. “But it isn’t scary! Robin Hood is really powerful and cool, and he defeats all the monsters so easily!” He makes a slightly pinched face, mimes the swinging of a sword, and then calls, “Persona!”

Goro’s eyes almost bulge out of his head.

“Joker-san has Personas too!” Goro says excitedly. “H-he has so many of them! And they’re all cool and do different things. He fights monsters too!”

Akira stares at him in wonder. “Does he wear a mask too?”

“Yes!”

They look at each other, and then break out in identical smiles. Goro thinks that if Akira knows someone with the same powers as Joker (though Goro doubts that they’re as cool as Joker), then maybe they can be friends.

It’s the first time he’s thought this way about someone his age.

“Robin Hood is my friend,” Akira says proudly, but then looks down and adds quietly “my b-best friend.”

Goro blinks. Akira’s amazing, to be best friends with someone who knows how to use Personas. Joker has so many cool friends and he doesn’t need someone like Goro. “Joker-san is my hero,” he says simply.

“Hero,” Akira mouths, looking awestruck. “That’s so _cool_.”

Goro bobs his head eagerly. “He is.”

Akira gives him a small smile. “D-do you want to be friends, Goro?”

Goro stares at him. He remembers the last time someone asked to be his friend, the feeling of hope and happiness blossoming in his heart. He remembers being asked to hang out at the arcade after school, using up the last of his saved money to ride the train there. He remembers waiting at the arcade for hours by himself, excitement and enthusiasm dwindling, before taking the train home in the dark and crying into his mom’s arms.

But Akira is staring at his shoes like he expects his offer to be rejected. It’s a look that Goro has worn many times. When he asks his mom if she can spend more time with him instead of her friends. When he asks his teachers if he can have a few extra days to finish the assignment because he can’t afford to buy the books to read at home. When he asks the neighborhood kids if he can join in their playing only to be laughed and scoffed at for even suggestion such a thing.

Goro wonders if he looked as small as Akira does now.

“Yes,” Goro says, reaching forward to take Akira’s small hand in his own. It’s warm. “If you’re okay with someone like me being your friend.”

Akira beams at him, and Goro feels a warmth sit lightly in his heart. It’s not unlike the feeling he gets whenever Joker smiles in his direction. “Of course!”

* * *

Akira is the same age as him, Goro learns. He’s from the countryside and he also doesn’t have many friends. His parents aren’t home that often, so he often goes home to an empty house and makes his own dinners and goes to sleep alone.

He hates that house, he tells Goro.

In return, Goro tells him a little bit about his mom. How she loves him a lot, but sometimes on her bad days she gets mad at him for asking too much. She’s really busy too, and Goro dreads the days when she stays out too late with her friends and he has to crawl under the blankets by himself.

Akira is a good listener. He doesn’t talk when Goro is speaking, unlike his classmates who don’t care about anything he has to say. He giggles when Goro says something funny, frowns when Goro says something sad, and even squeezes Goro’s hand when he mentions the neighborhood kids bullying him on his way back from school.

“We’re pretty similar,” Akira says once Goro finishes his story. Goro nods. It’s not entirely the same, but he didn’t expect to meet someone who understands what he’s going through. “That must be why we’re friends!”

 _Friends_. The word still makes him feel warm and happy. Unlike his mom’s friends, Akira doesn’t make him want to cry, or do weird things in exchange for more food on the table. Akira is simply there, a presence next to Goro that reminds him that he’s not alone.

Somehow, the simple act of existing is enough to make him feel comfortable.

“What’s that?” Goro asks, pointing to the little pocket thing strapped to Akira’s pants. It looks kind of like a pencil pouch.

Akira blinks, and then he beams and whips something out so fast. Goro’s eyes widen as Akira twirls around a small gun before grasping it firmly with both hands and pointing it in the opposite direction.

“Bang,” Akira says, narrowing his eyes and cocking the gun back as if to fire it. But then he turns back to Goro, smiling and putting the gun away carefully. “Cool, huh?”

Goro stares at him, dumbstruck. “W-was that real?” he asks, eyes darting over to the gun holder.

“Yep,” Akira says, though he looks a little bashful at the look of wonder Goro is giving him. “Robin Hood bought it for me and taught me how to use it. It’s only for monsters, though.”

Akira is so _cool_. He knows how to fight like all those cool superheroes in movies, and he’s trustworthy enough that this Robin Hood was willing to teach him how to use a gun.

Goro wishes Joker had taught him something like that too. He wants to be able to protect himself, protect his mom, protect Joker, protect even Akira. But instead, he had been escorted out of that white place with all the monsters, and Joker hadn’t taken him back ever since.

Does that mean that Joker thought he was too incompetent to learn how to fight? Or did he consider it a waste of time to teach someone like Goro? He doesn’t know which one hurts more.

Akira notices his frown and quickly reaches for him. “I-I’m sorry,” Akira says, grabbing his hand. “Did I scare you?”

“No, that was really cool,” Goro says. When Akira simply looks at him in confusion, he continues “I just wish I knew how to do something like that too.”

“When we meet up with Robin Hood and your Joker-san again, maybe we can ask if you can learn too,” Akira says excitedly. “And then we can fight together!”

Goro sighs. “I don’t think Joker-san wants me to know how to fight,” he mumbles. “He knows I’m useless and can’t do anything right.”

Akira’s eyes widen and he quickly shakes his head. “I don’t think he thinks that way. I don’t think that way either!” He moves close and forces Goro to look at him. “You’re so smart! When you were talking about all the books you’ve read and all the things you’ve learned, I was really jealous of how much you know.”

Goro stares at him. “You were jealous of _me_?”

“Yes.” Akira’s head bobs earnestly. “I wish I was as smart as you. You’re amazing, Goro.” He suddenly looks up and points. “Look!”

There’s a branching path in the maze. Goro peers both ways curiously. The left path has a winding spiral of metal stairs, leading up to a place so high that Goro can’t see even if he cranes his neck up. The right path leads into a hallway, grass walls giving way to cold and dark concrete walls.

Akira bounces on the balls of his feet. “Which way do you think we should go?”

“You can choose,” Goro says. Both ways look very scary to him, and he wishes that this grassy maze area had extended forever.

“No, you should choose,” Akira says, giving Goro a big grin. “You’re the smart one here! I believe in you.”

Goro doesn’t know how he’s supposed to determine which way is the correct path with the utter lack of clues. But Akira’s still smiling at him expectantly, and he really doesn’t want to let him down. Not after the other boy had placed his faith in him.

Goro tucks his fingers under his chin in the thinking pose he had seen the older version of him do in a dream, and Akira’s grin gets even wider. “I think we should go up,” Goro says. “If Joker-san and your Robin Hood are here, they’re so strong that they might be all the way at the top already.”

“Good thinking!” Akira says. “Left it is, then.”

* * *

Halfway up the stairs, the two of them are panting enough for Goro to regret his decision. Once they reach the top, the metal stairs behind them magically disappear, and Goro suddenly feels the prick of goosebumps rising on his arms.

“Where are we?” Akira asks, looking around. It’s a bright and colorful place with a lot of pretty fruit trees, but Goro can’t help but think that everything around them looks very fake.

He opens his mouth to answer when there’s the sound of beating wings.

Goro whirls around, praying that it’s Arsene, the persona followed by a familiar gentle smile, the swish of a long tailcoat, a cool and heroic silhouette casting a grand shadow.

It’s not.

It’s not Joker who approaches them. It’s one of those monster things, large wings flapping as it looms closer, a snarl on its face as it raises its sword menacingly.

Goro wants to run. But where? The stairs behind them had disappeared, and he can see nothing but endless rows of trees as far as he can see. This… this must have been the wrong choice. Akira had trusted him and Goro had betrayed him. He should have picked the right path. He should have been smart enough to know not to go up the stairs.

But it’s too late for regrets. It’s always too late.

Goro lets out an involuntary squeak, and Akira throws himself between Goro and the monster, whipping out a small dagger out of thin air.

“It’s okay, Goro,” Akira says. His hands are shaking, but there is no hesitation on his face. “I’ll protect you.”

“No, don’t—“ Goro whimpers, but Akira either does not hear him or chooses to ignore him. He lets out a yell and charges forward, both hands gripping the dagger tightly. The monster’s sword comes swinging down and Goro watches in amazement as Akira rolls out of the way and then sinks the dagger into the monster’s knee.

The monster staggers backwards and lets out a loud roar. Goro stares, wide-eyed. The way Akira wields his weapons and attacks reminds him so much of Joker that he almost forgets that the other boy is also only seven years old.

Akira catches him looking and gives him a big grin.

The smile is quickly wiped off his face by a look of terror. “Goro, watch out!” Akira yells.

Goro whirls around to see the monster standing right behind him, sword poised and raised, ready to strike.

“No,” he whispers, stumbling backwards. He trips over his own feet and falls to the ground uselessly. The monster does not stop advancing. “P-please, I don’t want to die.”

The monster doesn’t listen to him and raises its sword again. Goro can feel tears sliding down his cheeks and he quickly squeezes his eyes shut. His hands won’t stop shaking. He wants his mom. He wants Joker.

The pain never comes.

Instead, Goro hears a shattering scream that he’s sure will stay with him for the rest of his life.

He opens his eyes just in time to see Akira collapse to the ground in front of him. Akira, who had jumped in front of Goro and protected him with his own body. Akira, who is curled up into himself and letting out painful sounding wheezes.

The monster’s sword is red.

“No!” Goro yells, and his fears completely evaporate as he dashes over to the other boy’s side. The front of Akira’s shirt is completely red and his skin feels cold, much colder than humans should ever be. There is a glazed look in his eyes. “Akira! Akira!!”

The only response he gets is a pained moan.

“I’m sorry,” Goro sobs, clutching onto Akira’s body. “I’m sorry! This is all my fault! I was the one who decided to go this way, and you got hurt saving me. Please… please don’t die. Don’t leave me alone.”

Akira whimpers. He doesn’t seem to have heard Goro at all, and his eyes are focused on something far away. “H-hurts,” he mumbles, and then lets out a weak sounding cough. “Robin Hood, help me. It hurts so much…”

Goro watches in horror as Akira’s eyes slowly drift shut, and then the other boy doesn’t move again.

Goro lets out a loud wail and buries his face into Akira’s bloody chest. The monster advances again, sword raised, yellow eyes glowing ominously.

The last thing Goro hears is “You’re not the one I’m looking for” before his mind goes completely blank.

* * *

Goro wakes up in a small room.

His back hurts, the small tufts of grass doing very little to soften the hardness of the ground digging into his spine. He sits up quickly, the nightmare of what just transpired playing on repeat in the back of his eyelids.

The blood on his hands. The cooling body under his fingertips. The paleness of a face that had once smiled so happily at him.

Goro wants to cry.

“Robin Hood?” he hears a voice tentatively call out.

Goro whirls around so fast that he startles the other boy.

“Hi,” the boy says, giving a hesitant smile and a small wave.

Goro stares at him uncomprehendingly. “A-Akira?”

The boy who had died in Goro’s arms blinks. “How do you know my name?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey mari do you know how to write anything other than social media or deaged fics, you may ask. the answer is no.
> 
> i hope this one is different enough, at least! i'm a little worried about retreading the same trope, but i really love the existing character dynamics and wanted to see baby goro and baby akira interact haha, so let's just call this self indulgence!
> 
> why does your self indulgence involve them dying, you may ask. next question.
> 
> come talk to me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/nagittos)


	2. Akira (Age 17)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He frowns. “Akira can have more than one friend, right?”'
> 
> “I’m not good enough to be his friend,” Goro says softly. “Bad things happen to people who care about me. They get hurt trying to protect me. And it’s all my fault.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! I'm glad you all liked how nice and happy the last chapter was. 
> 
> Quick note: Sora finished all illustrations for Robin Hood and the Little Trickster! [Please check them out!](https://twitter.com/reveriesky/status/1311017905115471872)

On the other side of the maze, an older Akira wakes up in a small room.

His back hurts, the concrete floor digging into his spine. He sits up quickly, stifling a yawn, eyes darting around as he takes in his surroundings, trying to find a clue of why he’s here.

“Akira?” he hears a voice say.

Akira turns around and his eyes widen when he sees an eighteen year old Goro Akechi leaning on the wall behind him, arms crossed in front with a familiar looking scowl on his face. He’s wearing his black mask outfit, the sharp jagged edges of his mask covering almost his entire face. But there’s a look of curiosity in his eyes, a silent question poised that Akira can’t answer because he doesn’t know what’s going on either.

“Goro?” he tries. “When did you turn back?”

If anything, Goro’s(?) frown grows deeper. “I should be asking you the same question,” he scoffs. And then, looking as if he’d rather be anywhere else, he grits out, “Does Robin Hood sound familiar?”

Akira blinks owlishly at him. “Yeah, that’s your Persona. Did you forget?”

He gets a middle finger in response. He gets a second one when Goro catches him snickering.

Akira looks around. “Do you know where we are?” He takes a deep breath. “This place looks a lot like the interrogation room.”

Goro raises an eyebrow, as if it comes as any surprise that Akira would remember the room he almost died in. “It does.”

“Do you remember how you got here?” Akira tries.

“No,” Goro says shortly. “I went to sleep last night and then woke up here.”

Akira frowns. “You don’t remember anything else? Like us going to Maruki’s Palace, fighting together with the Phantom Thieves, and then some other stuff happened?”

“Your story differs from mine,” Goro says. He looks tense. Akira has seen his body coiled up, ready to leap forward and tear through monsters. But this seems to be a little different. His eyes dart back and forth, as if looking for something. “We can discuss this later.”

Akira nods. He doesn’t want to spend longer than necessary in this place either.

They walk silently through the metal halls. Goro is stewing silently in his thoughts, glaring holes into the walls, but Akira smiles when he sees him bring two fingers up under his chin subconsciously as he walks. It makes him happy to see that not everything about the Detective Prince was a lie.

Goro catches him looking and scowls. “You’re certainly excitable given our current situation.”

Akira shrugs. He’s trying not to think about how eerily similar the place is to the interrogation room, about how he can almost see his blood crusting on the floor if he squints hard enough. “I’m just happy you’re back to normal,” he says instead.

Goro thankfully drops the subject. “Nothing happened to me.”

Akira narrows his eyes. Besides the whole turning into a seven year old business, Goro had also been a hitman in the metaverse for years and then killed in a cognitive palace by the manifestation of his father’s perception of him. Akira _wishes_ that less things happened to him.

But before he can voice his thoughts, he hears the sound of voices from a hallway to the left.

Goro instantly melts into battle mode, quieting his footsteps and striding away without waiting to see if Akira would follow. The voices become louder as they get closer, and Akira can hear one screaming while the other tries to calm them down. Are they friends or foes? He feels for his daggers just in case.

When they reach the intersection, Akira sees two people sitting in the clearing. They both look very young. There’s a black-haired boy that looks vaguely familiar, a worried look on his face as he tries to comfort his companion.

But Akira barely sees him. His eyes zero in on the crying child next to him.

“Goro?” he calls out, voice barely above a whisper. Next to him, the adult Goro shoots him a look.

The child Goro’s eyes snap up, and then he’s running over, face still streaking with tears. Akira quickly kneels down and opens his arms, and Child Goro wastes no time burying his face into Akira’s shirt and wailing a muffled “Joker-san!”

“It’s okay,” Akira soothes, wrapping his arms around the small child instinctively. “It’s okay now, Goro.” He gets a couple incoherent mumbles in return.

Still holding the trembling child, Akira glances up. The black-haired boy has migrated over, standing a couple paces away while glancing worriedly at the crying boy. He looks… suspiciously like Akira when he was younger, to be honest.

Behind him, Adult Goro is staring at the two of them strangely. When Akira meets his gaze, he turns away with a huff.

“Mister?” The black-haired boy asks softly. “I-is he okay?”

“He’ll be fine.” Akira hugs the shaking boy even closer. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“I don’t know,” the boy says, twisting his fingers. Akira frowns. He remembers having the exact same nervous tick while he was still in elementary school. An uncomfortable hypothesis forms in his mind. “We woke up here and I tried to say hi. But then he started crying and talking about how it was his fault that I died. M-maybe he doesn’t like me.”

Akira thinks about the Goro who had smiled at butterflies and waved goodbye to the cashiers at supermarkets. “I don’t think that’s the reason,” he says. He’s not sure where the dying part comes from. Maybe Child Goro had gotten some memories back of the interrogation room. He hopes that isn’t the case.

Before he can ask anything else, Adult Goro steps forward and glares down at the miniature version of himself. “Stop crying,” he snaps.

Akira suddenly feels the parental instincts he didn’t know he had flare up. “Hey,” he says. “Don’t talk to him like that.”

Adult Goro snorts. And then, to Akira’s amazement, Child Goro does stop crying, looking up at his older counterpart with red puffy eyes. “I-I know you,” he says, his voice hoarse.

Adult Goro narrows his eyes suspiciously. However, the black-haired boy’s head suddenly snaps up, as if just noticing that there was a fourth person there. “R-Robin Hood?” he calls out tentatively.

“Akira,” Adult Goro says flatly. The black-haired boy’s eyes light up and he beams happily, rushing forward and wrapping his arms around Adult Goro’s leg.

Akira feels his head swim. It feels so weird, seeing a child version of himself running around. “We should talk about this,” he says, slightly disoriented.

Adult Goro snorts. “No shit.”

* * *

“I’ll call you Joker.” Adult Goro is looking in disgust at the smaller version of himself, who is currently doing his best to crawl into Joker’s lap while pretending that he’s not doing it.

“Sure,” Joker says easily. They’re sitting in a circle in the grass, though Joker doesn’t miss the way Adult Goro had placed himself between Akira and the opening of the room. “What about you? Akechi? Crow?” He gives a teasing grin, remembering what Akira had called him. “Robin Hood?”

“Not Robin Hood,” Adult Goro grits out, ignoring the puppy dog eyes that Akira is giving him.

Joker hides a smile behind his hand. He doesn’t know how the nickname came to be, but he can’t help but find it incredibly endearing at how much the other Akira clearly likes the older boy. “Crow, then? Just like old times.”

“Whatever.”

“So,” Joker continues. Goro has thankfully stopped crying, but he’s still clinging to the front of Joker’s jacket and his lips are wobbling. Joker gives his back a couple pats. “What’s your story?”

“Akira and I went to Maruki’s Palace,” Crow says shortly. “I left him alone for one evening and then he turned up like this.”

‘Like this’ meant a cute kid who has plastered himself to Crow’s arm and beams every time Crow looks in his direction.

“Oh yeah? He seems responsible,” Joker says, and tries not to laugh when Akira puffs out his chest proudly. Crow just rolls his eyes. “How long have you two been together?”

“No idea,” Crow says.

“Four days!” Akira exclaims at the same time, and then pouts. “We went to the shooting range one day, and then Me-men-tos the other three days.”

“Did we,” Crow deadpans, looking utterly uninterested.

Akira nods passionately and launches into an excited ramble about the different types of enemies they ran into. Crow slaps a hand on his mouth to cut him off, and Akira glares at him while his mouth continues to move under Crow’s hand.

The whole dynamic is adorable. Joker feels a slight stab of envy with how comfortable Crow seems to be, and then mentally slaps himself out of it. He hasn’t fallen low enough to start feeling jealous about a younger version of himself.

Crow raises an eyebrow. “What about you?”

“We were going through the palace with the Phantom Thieves,” Akira explains. It seems like so long ago. He hasn’t been to the palace since then, spending most of his days looking after Goro instead. “I’m not really sure what happened, but suddenly Goro was seven years old.”

“I’ve always been seven,” Goro mumbles.

“I considered our two worlds being connected, though given that the age regression happened at different points in time, I find that unlikely,” Crow says. “Well, that’s a problem to be worked out when we return.”

Joker nods. It seems they agree that their biggest priority is to get the two kids out of this place safely.

Crow stands up and Akira scrambles to follow him. Joker’s eyes zero in on what looks suspiciously like a gun holster strapped to the boy’s leg. He frowns unhappily at it and Crow doesn’t say anything, though Joker does catch a glimpse of a mocking sneer on his face before he turns away.

Joker looks down at Goro. “Hey,” he says gently. “Are you okay?”

Goro shakes his head and Joker’s frown deepens. This is the same kid who fell into a fishing pond and barely cried, the same kid who never mentions when anything hurts out of fear of inconveniencing others. The fact that something is bothering him this much sends an uncomfortable feeling down his spine.

Joker is opening his mouth to ask what’s wrong when Crow calls from ahead, “The interrogation room area is to the right, and stairs to the left.”

“Not the stairs!” Goro shrieks, shooting to his feet. There are small drops of tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “P-please. Can we go to the right?”

Crow raises an eyebrow. “And why should we do that? We just came from there.”

Goro looks down at his shoes. “T-there’s a scary monster up the stairs,” he mumbles. He is clearly not used to asking for things for himself, and Joker can see his tiny hands trembling. “I-I don’t want to go there again.”

Crow looks down at Akira, who shakes his head. “I didn’t see any monsters. I just woke up here,” he says. “But I believe Goro. Robin Hood, can we go to the right instead?”

The two of them engage in some sort of silent staring contest. To Joker’s surprise, Akira seems to end up winning, because Crow lets out a huff and rolls his eyes. “Fine,” he grouses. “There were some paths back there we hadn’t checked out anyway.”

The relief on Goro’s face is palpable when he hears the decision. But it’s not the smile he gives when he hesitantly reaches out for another serving of food, tentative hope written all over as if in disbelief that something so good could be true.

He still looks more scared than anything.

Joker offers his hand, which Goro slips his into effortlessly. They follow after the other two. “What’s wrong?” Joker asks quietly so that the others can’t hear. “You can tell me.”

Goro chews on his bottom lip. “I-I’m okay,” he says. “I just had a nightmare.”

“About Akira dying?” Joker asks. A nod. “And it was really realistic?” Another nod, this time more frantic.

Joker is opening his mouth to ask if the location resembled a cold empty enclosed space, or maybe even an engine room of a ship, when he hears a loud “Look!” from in front of him.

It’s Akira, bouncing happily on the balls of his feet. “Robin Hood, did you see that just now?”

The look of utter disgust on Crow’s face almost makes him laugh. “It’s a spider.”

“Yeah,” Akira says, crouching down to peer closer at it. “But it’s purple.”

“It’ll bite you, and then its poison will render you immobilized for hours in immense pain before letting you die in the most excruciating way possible.” Crow recites almost robotically, and then snorts when Akira recoils so fast he almost trips over his two feet.

Joker pats Goro’s shoulder. “You want to talk to Akira more?” he asks.

Goro looks down at his feet. “I-I do,” he admits. “But Akira has his Robin Hood already. He doesn’t need me.”

Joker frowns. “He can have more than one friend, right?”

“I’m not good enough to be his friend,” Goro says softly. “Bad things happen to people who care about me. They get hurt trying to protect me. And it’s all my fault.”

“That’s not true,” Joker says fiercely, though perhaps a little too harshly because Goro flinches. He takes a deep breath and tries to make his voice as calm as possible. “It’s never your fault. Do you understand, Goro?”

Goro looks up at him, eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “Then why does everyone always leave me behind?”

Before he can say anything, there’s a shout from somewhere in front of them. “Joker!” he hears.

Joker whirls around and sees a large angel, Michael, its sword raised menacingly. A flash of white appears on the edges of his peripheral vision, and he blinks when he sees Crow melt into his white prince outfit, light saber grasped tightly in his left hand and a twisted snarl printed on his face.

Joker blinks again. Next to Crow, Akira has whipped out a knife out of seemingly thin air and is pointing it at the monster. The gun strapped to his thigh is hanging loosely in his left hand, finger positioned on the trigger.

Joker pinches himself to make sure he’s not dreaming.

He can’t _believe_ Goro Akechi taught a seven year old how to fight. Or maybe he can.

Next to him, Goro is shaking furiously. When Joker moves to step in front and shield him, he thinks he hears a mumbled “It’s back. It’s back. This is all my fault.” But the statement is swallowed by a loud roar, and Joker’s mind quickly switches to more pressing matters.

He hangs in the back for the first time, more concerned with protecting the small Goro than doing damage to the angel. It feels weird to not be the leader, out on the front lines yelling out commands, but Crow does more than enough to make up for his absence.

He screams something nearly incoherent, and then Joker watches with wide eyes as Akira jumps in on command and slashes at the angel’s wings before rolling out of the way of an incoming attack. Why does Akira know how to fight so well? What kind of questionable parenting has been going on here? Why is Crow wearing his white prince suit? Joker feels his mind swim with questions.

By chance, the monster glances in his direction. And then its yellow eyes burn brighter.

“You,” the monster drawls, voice deep and foreboding. Next to him, Goro lets out a little shriek and plasters himself behind Joker. “I found you.”

Joker whips out his dagger and readies his battle stance. “What do you want with him?” he demands.

“Him?” The monster’s unblinking eyes stare at him emptily. “You—”

“What are you doing?” he hears Crow yell before he sees a black blur rush forward and sink a knife into the angel’s leg. The monster lets out a loud roar and staggers backwards.

“Don’t hurt them!” Akira yells, kicking the monster’s foot. “I promised Goro I would protect him!”

“No,” Goro moans weakly from behind Joker. “Stop protecting me. Please.”

The monster looks down at Akira. “Not you,” it intones. And before Crow can reach him, before Akira can do anything but look up in fear, the monster’s huge hand comes down and swats him away as easily as a fly.

Akira’s body flies backwards and hits the ground with a sickening crunch.

“Akira!” Crow yells, eyes flashing with a rare moment of panic that Joker has never seen before. But then the monster raises its sword again, and Joker can see the conflict written clearly in Crow’s posture, caught in the middle of Joker and Akira, before he ultimately makes a decision and rushes to the seven year old.

The sword swings down quickly and Joker throws his hand up to his face, fingers wrapping around the edges and Arsene’s name on his lips.

But before he can do anything, he feels two small hands grab the back of his coat. And then they shove him to the ground.

He quickly scrambles up just in time to see the monster swing his sword at the spot where he had just been. The spot where Goro had pushed him away from.

The spot where Goro is still standing.

“Goro!” Joker yells desperately, tripping over his feet in a frantic attempt to rush over. The boy had let out a heartbreaking scream when the sword had pierced his stomach, but he goes down quietly, ever conscious to remain as quiet as possible to avoid troubling others.

Joker has never hated the world that forced Goro to be like this more than he did right now.

Joker cradles the boy’s limp body in his arms and watches in horror as the red seeps through his clothes. The cat print shirt, which Goro had liked so much he refused to relinquish it for laundry, now glitters mockingly with an expanding bright red stain.

“Why?” Joker sobs brokenly, hands grasping uselessly in an attempt to stop the bleeding. But there’s so much blood. “I could’ve handled it! So why did you…”

Goro’s eyes are barely open when he smiles, an innocent and happy expression contradicting the coldness of the boy’s body. “I-I was finally useful to someone. I’m not a burden anymore,” he says, and Joker feels his heart shatter into a million pieces.

“You are never a burden,” Joker says, and then freezes when there’s no reaction. “Goro? Goro?!”

But the boy is still.

Joker feels his mind go blank. The monster roars behind him and he can hear Crow yelling something in the background, but all he can think about is Goro. Goro, who is lying so peacefully he could easily be mistaken for sleeping. Goro, who has a smile on his face despite the overwhelming fear he must have felt in his last moments.

Goro, who is dead.

Joker feels bile rising up in his throat, and he’s in the middle of trying to force himself to regain enough control over his own body so he won’t vomit all over Goro’s corpse when the world goes dark and he feels himself falling.

* * *

Akira wakes up in a small room.

His back hurts, the concrete floor digging into his spine. He sits up quickly, stifling a yawn, eyes darting around as he takes in his surroundings, trying to find a clue of why he’s here.

And then his mind catches up, memories rushing into his brain as the floodgates open.

He’s on his feet before he even realizes what he’s doing, running out of maze and retracing the steps he had taken last time. Why is he here? The last thing he remembered was that awful room, that awful monster, that awful putrid smell of blood in the air. Why is he back where he started?

“Wait up,” Crow snaps, though his voice lacks bite.

Joker turns to ask him if he remembers anything, but he doesn’t need to. One look at the uncharacteristically grim expression on the other boy’s face tells him everything he needs to know.

They near the intersection and just like last time, Joker can hear two voices yelling. He feels an unreasonable hope soar in his chest, hope that it was all just one big nightmare, hope that it had all been in his mind, hope that Goro is somehow still _alive_ —

“Joker-san!” he hears a shriek, and then a young boy is tumbling into his arms. The scene gives him such an eerie sense of déjà vu and he looks up and sees Crow standing a couple paces away, looking oddly in Akira’s direction.

Joker follows his line of sight and blinks when he sees Akira, face as white as sheet as he takes a tentative step toward them.

“I-I don’t understand,” Akira stammers, eyes wide. “I saw you die.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> alternatively titled: author realizes that navigating a fic with two pairs of characters with the same names is very hard
> 
> come talk to me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/nagittos)


	3. Akira (Age 7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker smiles, looking over fondly at where Robin Hood is cornering a cowering Goro, mouth moving in angry syllables. Akira suddenly feels a sting of envy. He isn’t sure if anyone has ever looked at him the way Joker looks at Goro. Not that he wants Robin Hood to do that! The concern would probably look really weird on his face. 
> 
> But it would be nice, Akira thinks wistfully, to be on the receiving end one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgot to do it for previous chapters oops, but tw for non-graphic depictions of violence.
> 
> thank you guys for all the comments and kudos!

Akira sits as close to Robin Hood as possible while he explains that they’re stuck in some kind of loop. The cause of loop reset is someone’s death, and the person who dies never remembers. A complete blank slate, leaving behind the memories with those who remained.

Goro wanders over. Akira is so glad that he didn’t see the other boy die, Robin Hood’s body blocking his field of vision during the fight. Just the terrifying scream that Goro had let out makes him want to burrow back into his bed and cover his ears and never come out again.

“I’m so glad you didn’t actually die, Akira,” Goro says bashfully, giving him a tiny toothy grin. He looks so much happier than the previous loop, when he carried the burden of Akira’s death alone on his tiny shoulders.

“I’m glad you didn’t actually die either,” Akira whispers back, grabbing Goro’s hands. He hopes Goro doesn’t notice him trembling. He can still see that nightmarish scene whenever he closes his eyes, and he tries not to think about it.

“I-I’m sorry for the trouble I caused everyone,” Goro says, bowing low. “If I hadn’t d-died, then we wouldn’t have had to start over.”

Akira and Joker both open their mouths at the same time to dispute his statement, but it is Robin Hood who cuts in first. “We need to talk,” he hisses.

Goro jumps, eyes wide. “O-okay,” he says, shrinking in on himself.

Robin Hood drags Goro by the back of his shirt over to the corner. Goro squeaks and then looks fearfully at Akira for help. Akira gives him a wobbly grin and a thumbs up for encouragement, which doesn’t seem to reassure the other boy at all.

Akira knows that Robin Hood won’t harm Goro. But Akira also knows that Robin Hood will flick his forehead if he interrupts, and it hurts a lot, so he doesn’t.

Joker is frowning at the retreating pair, looking like he wants to jump in to intervene, so Akira wanders over to stand next to him. “Robin Hood won’t hurt him,” he says confidently, looking up at the older boy. Joker is so tall! But not as tall as Robin Hood, he notes proudly.

Joker blinks. It’s weird, to talk to someone with the same face as him. “I know that,” he huffs. “But I still can’t help but worry, you know?”

Akira doesn’t know. His parents had never bothered with him, always leaving him to look up homework answers on his own or clean up wounds by himself whenever he got injured. Robin Hood had explained that Joker was an older version of him from the future, so Akira thought that he would’ve had the same experiences as well.

But maybe there will be a day in the future when his parents notice him again, when they realize that what he wants isn’t a cold impersonal envelope of money stuffed in the mailbox every month, but simply for all three of them to eat dinner together once again.

Joker rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, and Akira realizes that he hasn’t responded yet. “Goro likes you a lot. He said you were his _hero_.”

Joker smiles, looking over fondly at where Robin Hood is cornering a cowering Goro, mouth moving in angry syllables. Akira suddenly feels a sting of envy. He isn’t sure if anyone has ever looked at him the way Joker looks at Goro. Not that he wants Robin Hood to do that! The concern would probably look really weird on his face.

But it would be nice, Akira thinks wistfully, to be on the receiving end one day.

“Would you say Crow—or rather, Robin Hood—is your hero too?” Joker teases. He always smirks when he says the name, though Akira isn’t sure why he finds it so funny.

“Robin Hood is my friend,” Akira says proudly. He’s really happy that he’s finally allowed to call him that, that Robin Hood has finally stopped jabbing him in the sides and now just rolls his eyes whenever Akira introduces him as _Robin Hood, my friend!_ to the cashiers at the supermarket.

Joker blinks. “Any chance you could tell Goro to call me that too?”

“Sure!” Akira agrees easily. “He’s already my friend, so I’m sure he wants to be friends with you too. And it’d be nice if he and Robin Hood could be friends too.”

Right as he says that, there’s the sound of footsteps as the other pair returns. Robin Hood has his signature scowl on his face, arms crossed as he stares down in displeasure at his younger self.

“What did you do to him?” Joker raises an eyebrow as Goro quickly crosses over and hides behind him.

“Took him to the parking lot outside and beat him up.” Robin Hood rolls his eyes. “He’ll live. Stop babying him.”

“Sorry I didn’t take one look at him and think ‘You know what a good bonding activity would be? _Gun safety._ ’” Joker huffs.

“You hand a kid a gun _one time_ and you never hear the end of it,” Robin Hood mutters under his breath.

Joker frowns. “What did you say?”

“I _said_ I taught Akira a dozen ways to kill a man,” Robin Hood sneers. “And I’d do it again.”

Joker looks like he wants to continue arguing, but then he seems to decide that he’s the bigger man in this conversation and takes a deep breath and changes the topic. “Anyway. What’s the plan going forward?”

“We’ll retrace our steps,” Robin Hood says crossly. “It’ll be fine as long as there isn’t any self-sacrificial bullshit again.” His eyes zero in on Goro. “Are we clear?”

“I-I understand,” Goro mumbles, even though he definitely doesn’t because he doesn’t have any of his memories.

“Don’t curse in front of the kids,” Joker mumbles.

“I do what I fucking want,” Robin Hood shoots back. Joker aims a kick at his shin, which he barely dodges.

“How are you the least mature one here?” Joker asks, and Robin Hood does a very good job ignoring the question.

“You,” he rounds on Akira, who quickly straightens. “You pull that hero shit again and I’ll stab you myself.”

Akira nods rapidly. It would really hurt if Robin Hood stabbed him, so it’d be better if that didn’t happen.

“See?” Robin Hood glares at Joker. “There’s nothing wrong with how I do things. Get off my ass.”

Joker narrows his eyes. “Does he understand _why_ he shouldn’t be jumping in?”

“Well, _do_ you, Akira?” Robin Hood demands.

“Because I don’t want Robin Hood to stab me,” Akira answers confidently and feels a twinge of happiness when Robin Hood cackles at his answer. He beams at the older boy proudly.

Joker looks at the two of them and then throws up his hands and stalks away.

* * *

The angel monster is still there when they arrive, its yellow eyes boring down at the four of them. Akira flinches when it looks at him, unwanted memories resurfacing of a sword raised seconds before an immense pain blossomed on the side of his head.

Robin Hood, however, doesn’t hesitate. With a pointed glare at the two kids, he steps forward with his weapon raised. Joker slots into position almost effortlessly, and then the battle begins.

Akira hangs back, having been tasked with the job of watching over Goro and shooting the monster if he sees any openings. He grips his gun tightly, watching carefully, but it doesn’t look like his help is even need.

Robin Hood jumps in, snarling angrily. When he rolls to the side to avoid an attack, Joker follows up without any signal, hand flying to his face as he switches through his whole arrangement of different Personas before settling on a cool top hat wearing one.

Akira turns to Goro, about to gush about how cool the two of them are, when the look of intense concentration on Goro’s face stops him in his tracks. The boy’s eyes are focused, moving rapidly to follow the movements of the fight.

“T-the left,” Goro calls out. Akira blinks at him, confused, and even Joker falters for a bit, glancing over his shoulder to make sure that they were still okay.

But Robin Hood doesn’t hesitate. He rolls to the left in one fluid motion, sword flickering bright red under the lights, before he jams his weapon into the side of monster.

It falls down to the ground with a thud.

Robin Hood straightens up and advances, gun pointed straight at the monster. Next to him, Joker does the same.

“Shall we negotiate for money?” Robin Hood drawls mockingly.

“No,” Joker says, the steely grey eyes underneath the mask flashing angrily. “It doesn’t deserve mercy.”

“As you command, _Leader_ ,” Robin Hood scoffs. And then both of them are moving at once, jumping in and performing the coolest attack Akira has ever seen. The two of them fly everywhere, slashing at every part of the monster they can reach, and Akira turns to see Goro also staring at the two in wide-eyed amazement.

Robin Hood deals the final blow, landing on the ground and sneering down at the rapidly disappearing Shadow. Joker flips his daggers around before sheathing them, his normally kind face a picture of derision and thinly veiled anger as he stares at the spot the Shadow was.

Akira has never seen anything so cool before.

“What was that?” he asks, eyes sparkling as he bounces over.

Joker jolts, as if suddenly remembering that there is an audience. “An all-out attack,” he explains, and then looks at Goro. “What was that during the battle?”

Goro flinches a little and looks down. “I-I thought I saw an opening on the left, so I…”

“You thought you saw an opening,” Joker echoes. Goro fidgets some more and looks to Robin Hood for help.

The older boy rolls his eyes. “I told him to keep an eye out for any weaknesses,” he says. “He’ll be our nav.”

“Our nav.” Joker looks a little like he might faint. “I guess that would keep him out of trouble, but…”

“I was perceptive even as a kid. If he really is me, then something like this should be easy for him,” Robin Hood says offhandedly. “He’s no Oracle, but he’ll do.”

Goro blinks at him, seemingly confused about whether he’s being insulted or complimented.

“What he means to say,” Joker cuts in, glaring in Robin Hood’s direction. “Is that you did a good job, Goro.”

Goro’s eyes widens, and then a large toothy grin blossoms across his face. “Thank you,” he says, and his happiness is infectious. Akira finds himself smiling too.

Joker elbows Robin Hood in the side. “You were a cute kid,” he whispers loudly. “What happened?”

Robin Hood almost shoves his middle finger up Joker’s nose.

* * *

“Do you think there’s anything good in these boxes?” Akira asks curiously.

They’re in what looks like a fancy music club. They had walked through the corridor of metal rooms for a while before the scenery suddenly shifted and turned into one of those clubs that he’s seen in movies before, where a singer gets on stage and sings in a low, soothing tone. The kind of place that he wouldn’t be allowed to go to until he was more _grown up._

“Look,” Goro says, pulling out a trumpet from one of the boxes, eyes sparkling in excitement. There’s a small tape near the end, a _Property of Jazz Jin_ labelled. “D-do you think I can try it?”

“Go ahead,” Akira urges, because he’s a little curious too.

Goro sucks in a deep breath and exhales way too fast, the trumpet letting a loud and jarring wail into the empty room. Akira resists the urge to cover his ears and instead claps, because he’s good at encouraging his friends and even better at cheering for them when they’re making questionable decisions. Goro flushes dark red though, and quickly places the trumpet back where he found it.

“Maybe this one,” Akira says. The box is heavier than he expects, and he drops it on his foot. “Ow! Fuck!”

Goro stares at him wide-eyed. “Y-you said a bad word!” he says, looking horrified.

“It’s not that bad,” Akira mutters petulantly, but he suddenly feels like he’s the bad guy in this scenario, so he rushes to explain. “It’s something you say when you’re really angry at something and normal words aren’t enough.”

Goro tilts his head adorably to the side. It’s clear he doesn’t understand. Akira wonders if he’s ever gotten angry in his life before. “I don’t know if I have something like that…”

“Like… that monster from before!” Akira bobs his head eagerly. “It’s really mean, right? So you’d say ‘fuck that monster.’”

Goro blinks. “…that monster,” he repeats.

Akira gamely pretends he didn’t notice Goro only mouthing the first word. “Yeah, like that! Fuck that monster!”

Goro takes a deep breath, as if steeling himself. “Fuck that monster,” he whispers under his breath, almost inaudible. When lightning doesn’t strike him where he stands, he visibly relaxes. Akira gives a loud cheer of encouragement, and Goro seems to gain more confidence. “Fuck that monster!”

That’s how Joker finds them, looking like he’s seconds away from fainting.

“Why are you so upset?” Robin Hood snickers later. They’re all sitting in a circle on the ground, rations of food placed in the middle. Goro is fidgeting nervously, looking anxiously at the displeased expression on Joker’s face. “It’s fine if they know how to fight and kill Shadows, but swearing is where you draw the line?”

Goro migrates over, looking worried, but Joker just laughs sheepishly and waves off his concern. Akira thinks he hears a “how am I the worse parent between the two of us?” muttered, but Joker quickly turns away and rummages through their food rations.

There are a lot of bags of yakisoba pan on the ground that Joker has stockpiled from the school store, and Akira is in the middle of eating his when Goro scoots over close, his own bag still untouched in his hands.

“Your Robin Hood is a little scary sometimes,” Goro whispers.

Akira pauses, mouth full of food. “Really?” he asks, voice muffled as he takes another bite. “I think he’s really nice.”

Joker side-eyes him and gives a wistful sigh. “I see you’ve brainwashed him.”

Robin Hood snorts. “I showed him how to use a knife and he thanked me,” he deadpans.

“Must be your overwhelming charisma,” Joker supplies, and then laughs when he dodges the bag of bread Robin Hood throws in his direction.

Akira giggles. It had been weird to see an older version of him running around at first, but now he kind of likes it. He likes seeing someone who challenges Robin Hood, who responds to his barbs and doesn’t take the thorny mask that he wears seriously, who can fight together with him as equals.

And well, if that’s really Akira, and Robin Hood is really Future Goro, then Akira can’t wait to see if he’ll share the same relationship with Goro ten years from now as well.

“It’s good,” Goro mumbles, looking a little starry-eyed as he tries the yakisoba pan. “I’ve never had bread like this before.”

He’s taking careful nibbles, and Akira tries to pretend that he didn’t just eat almost half of it in one bite. “Really?” he asks, pushing the food away from his cheeks so it isn’t obvious that he’s a complete heathen. “It’s a little bland.”

Goro looks down. “My mom and I could only afford plain bread,” he says quietly.

Akira suddenly feels like the world’s biggest bully and he quickly shoves the remainder of his portion into Goro’s hands. “Take this then!” he says quickly, voice coming out too loud. “I’m not that hungry anyway.”

“No,” Goro says firmly, pushing the bread back at Akira. “It’s yours. I can’t take it.”

Their little shoving match goes on for minutes, Akira’s determined gaze meeting Goro’s own, before they both simultaneously dissolve into giggles at how ridiculous the situation is. Seeing Goro’s uncontrollable laughter only makes him snicker even harder, and the piece of bread lays forgotten between the two of them.

Akira almost misses an arm reach over and snatch the remainder of his bread from the ground. He watches, offended, as Robin Hood smirks and plops the last remaining bite into his mouth.

“Oh my god,” Joker moans, head in his hands. “You really just stole food from starving children.”

* * *

Later that day, though it’s hard to tell what time it is because the sky is covered by a ceiling, the four of them make their way up the stairs into a darker, murkier space. Akira’s glancing around curiously at the steam rising from the ground when he notices the two adults.

“Akechi,” Joker starts, looking around worriedly. “This is—”

“I fucking know,” Robin Hood snarls. His tone is so venomous that even Akira takes a step back.

“Maybe we should find another way through,” Joker says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We don’t need to go this way.”

Robin Hood shrugs off the hand angrily and plows forward. “Who cares if this looks like the ship?” he scoffs. “I don’t need your pity, Joker.”

Joker snaps his mouth shut, though Akira can see by the way his lips tighten and his hands clench into fists that he doesn’t like the decision at all.

“The engine room,” Akira hears Robin Hood murmur as they take the stairs down. “Strange. It’s almost as if…”

There are two other angels waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. They look different from the one before, but they have the same cold yellow eyes that still send a shiver down his spine.

They quickly melt into their new formation. Joker and Robin Hood stand in front, weapons and Personas at the ready. He and Goro stand in the back, ready to provide backup. Akira feels confident about this fight. Even though there is one more Shadow this time, there’s no way a team of the four of them can lose.

A couple minutes later, he’s reevaluating his decision. A strong light attack separates him from Goro, and he notices that the two older boys have been separated as well. Deciding that his biggest priority is to stay out of the monsters’ way and search for Goro, Akira quickly ducks behind a pillar and makes his way around the room, eyes peeled wide open for his friend.

And then he hears a loud yell.

“Joker-san!” Goro screams. Akira quickly pops his head out and sees Joker’s body shielding Goro from one of the angels, a look of pain on his face as he clutches the younger boy to himself with one arm.

One arm.

He can’t see where the other arm is. There is just a bloody flap in the jacket where it’s supposed to be.

Akira feels like he’s going to throw up.

“I’m fine,” Joker calls out, though the action causes him to grimace in pain. “Crow, continue fighting. I-I’ll be fine in a moment.”

“Bullshit,” Robin Hood yells back, but his attention is quickly diverted when the other angel emerges from the shadows and slashes downwards at him, causing him to have to roll away in the opposite direction.

“Your arm,” Goro mumbles helplessly. “Your arm! It’s… it’s…”

“I’ll just heal myself after this battle,” Joker reassures him, straightening up and turning back to the enemy. “I’ll be okay.”

A couple minutes later, they are not okay. Akira watches in horror as one of the angels lifts Joker by the neck. Below him, Goro is pounding furiously on the angel’s leg to no avail.

On the other side of the room, Robin Hood is flat on the ground, the angel’s sword pressed right above where his heart lies. His mask is half broken, his face set in an angry scowl, but he’s careful not to move his body at all, eyes flickering to the tip of the weapon right above him.

It’s happening again, Akira thinks miserably. He’s going to watch someone he loves die again.

But then the angel holding Joker up turns to the other, and Akira feels his blood run cold.

“Don’t… kill… them…” it intones menacingly. “The… Ruler… said… something… strange… was… going… on…”

“Keep… them… prisoner…” the other angel agrees.

Akira feels his eyes widen in horror. If one of them doesn’t die, then the loop won’t reset. If the loop doesn’t reset, then they will be captured and brought to an unknown location. Joker looks pale, his left arm still missing, a steady dripping of blood pooling on the ground below him.

What happens if it isn’t reset here? Will they even have another chance after this?

Akira meets Robin Hood’s eyes, and he knows the older boy is thinking the same thing. That death isn’t the worst-case scenario in this case.

“Akira,” he calls, grimacing slightly as the angel presses the sword more firmly against his chest. Akira can see red blossoming on the front of his suit. “Do it.”

Akira blinks, and then a wave of horror washes over him when he realizes what he’s being asked. “N-no,” he whispers. “I-I can’t. I can’t!”

“Do it!” Robin Hood yells, eyes flashing with a crazy glint. “Are you going to protect your friends or not?!”

Akira can feel tears run down his face. “B-but I don’t want to…”

He hears a yell from across the room. His head whips over and he sees Goro pounding on the angel’s leg, sobbing furiously. “Let go of him!” he yells. Joker’s grasping uselessly at the monster’s grip with his remaining hand, his face getting paler by the second, though Akira doesn’t know whether it’s because of the blood loss or lack of oxygen.

“Akira,” Robin Hood says. His voice is calm. “You need to do it. Right now.”

Akira lets out a sob and grips his gun tightly. He has to. He has to do this if they’re all going to make it out of this room safe and sound. He has to do this to protect Joker and Goro.

But in order to do that, he has to…

“No!” Joker yells. The monster still has him pinned against the wall, but his whole attention is on Robin Hood. “Don’t do it, Akira. Please!”

“Shut up, Joker,” Robin Hood snarls back. “This is the only way to make sure we don’t get captured, unless you want to volunteer _Goro_.”

“Akira,” Joker pleads. “Please. Don’t do it. We can figure out another way. I-I can’t watch him die again.”

Akira’s hands are shaking so hard that he’s not even sure he can even aim the weapon without dropping it. “I… I…”

It doesn’t need to be Robin Hood, right? I-if Akira shoots himself, the loop will reset too. He’s so scared. He doesn’t want to do it. It’ll hurt. It’ll hurt so much. He’s so scared. He’ll lose all those precious memories he made. He won’t remember watching Goro smile after he acts as their nav for the first time, or the little picnic the four of them had together, or… or…

He’s so scared. He’s so scared so scared so scared so scared so scared—

But if it could save Robin Hood, then—

As if knowing Akira’s train of thought, Robin Hood looks up at him and gives him a small smile. It’s the first genuine one that Akira has ever seen, and Akira feels his heart clench tightly in his chest. “I trust you.”

Akira lets out a sob. He’s shaking so hard he can’t even see straight anymore.

Robin Hood trusts him. Robin Hood trusts him to do this. Robin Hood trusts him to save everyone. Robin Hood would never forgive him if he turned the gun around. He needs to… he need to…

Akira doesn’t remember pulling the trigger. He doesn’t see the bullet hit Robin Hood, doesn’t see him draw his last breath, doesn’t see the life drain out of him because of what _Akira_ did—

But he must have, because seconds later the world around him spins, before fading to complete darkness.

* * *

Akira doesn’t remember what he does while he waits for the other two to get there. It feels a little like there’s something under his butt, so he must be sitting. He thinks that there’s pressure on both sides of his head, so he must be burrowed into his knees. Goro is probably next to him, eyes wide with worry and lips trembling. He’s so sweet.

But Akira can’t feel much of anything. It feels like he’s not even in his body anymore, a detached entity watching emotionlessly from a distance.

There’s some noise a couple minutes later, and then the pressure next to him disappears. Goro must have run off to check on his Joker-san. How nice, Akira thinks dully, that Goro can still look at his friend and smile, and meanwhile Akira can only see a bloodied corpse with a bullet hole straight through the head that _he shot_ —

Someone crouches down next to him. He doesn’t know who it is. His eyes are too blurry and there’s a harsh ringing in his ears that hasn’t stopped ever since he fired the gun.

Someone wraps their arms around him. It feels like Robin Hood, warm and safe. He burrows closer and allows the tears to fall.

For once, Robin Hood doesn’t complain about the front of his suit getting wet. For once, Robin Hood pulls him into a firm and tight hug and doesn’t let go. For once, Robin Hood gives him the physical affection that Akira sees Joker give Goro all the time.

This is everything he ever wanted.

But for once, Akira doesn’t feel anything at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> catch the author handwaving away all their trauma
> 
> come talk to me on [twitter!](https://twitter.com/nagittos)


	4. Goro (Age 18)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a feeling of pride that surges inside him when he hears that Akira had done what he was told. That despite all odds, he has blossomed into someone that Crow can trust.
> 
> But when he sees the young boy curled up on the ground, body shaking violently in gut-wrenching sobs, he finds himself wishing that he could take back all the responsibility he had piled on the boy’s shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is kinda a mess, I wasn't sure where this was going either :D

It takes a long time for Akira to stop sobbing. Joker comes over to tell him that he and Goro are going to check something out, though Crow doesn’t know how long ago that was. He kneels on the ground, counting Akira’s hiccups, awkwardly patting the younger boy on the back with hands that feel foreign.

He has never comforted anyone before, has never _been_ comforted ever since his mother disappeared from this world and took all his happiness with her. He’s seen this action replicated many times, has seen Joker hug Goro for even the smallest of things, but Crow doesn’t know how it’s supposed to feel. Is he embracing Akira too loosely? Too tightly? He wishes he could get some sort of feedback, but Akira is clearly too distraught to notice anything right now.

His cheek still stings. He had woken up with Goro’s death fresh on his mind only to see a furious Joker stomping in his direction and feel a palm connecting with his face. He can still remember the horrible scene as if it had just happened, the sight of the younger version of himself bloody and lifeless. It’s a sight he used to imagine all the time, when his foster family didn’t give him food, or when the school kids bullied him and pushed him into a lake, or when he learned that a man in a position of great power was the one responsible for his mother’s death. He always imagined the sight of a dead and young Goro Akechi, never older than 20.

But one look at Joker’s face told him that Goro’s death wasn’t the last one that had happened. That somewhere, somehow, Crow himself had died, memories taken away easily as if they weren’t even his to begin with.

It reminds him strangely of… no. Best not to think about that.

Joker had filled him in on the way over. About how they had been about to be captured. About how Joker had lost his arm while Crow was trapped on the ground, the two angels cornering them.

About how Crow had looked Akira in the eyes and told him to shoot him.

There’s a feeling of pride that surges inside him when he hears that Akira had done what he was told. That despite all odds, he has blossomed into someone that Crow can trust.

But when he sees the young boy curled up on the ground, body shaking violently in gut-wrenching sobs, he finds himself wishing that he could take back all the responsibility he had piled on the boy’s shoulders.

Crow moves back when Akira stops hiccupping, the soft sniffles the only sound breaking through the silence. Akira’s eyes are red and puffy, and the signature glint in his eyes is noticeably missing, the one that shines bright and rebellious when he puts on his best grownup face and tells Crow to stop being mean to him.

“Akira,” Crow starts, and then realizes he has no idea what to say next. His arms uselessly grasp at the air before falling to his side. What does one say to a crying child? He can only remember being told to stop his sniveling and go wash the dishes, but Akira deserves better from him. “Are you okay?”

Akira doesn’t respond.

Crow leans over and puts a hand on Akira’s shoulder the way he’s seen Joker do. The young boy thankfully does not flinch or pull away, but he doesn’t lean into the touch like he normally does. “Joker told me what happened,” he says.

Akira finally looks at him, eyes a dull grey. “Are you sorry?” he asks quietly.

Should he lie in this situation? Would that make the kid feel worse? He wishes these things came with a guidebook.

“No,” he says finally, deciding to be honest. “I did what was necessary.”

Akira doesn’t look surprised at his answer, which makes it even worse. He just looks down at the ground, defeated.

“That said, I shouldn’t have made you do it,” Crow concedes. “I should have found a way to get my own weapon, or found a way to dislodge that Shadow, or something else. It was unfair to—”

“I don’t _want_ you to die!” Akira yells, startling him. His cheeks are puffed, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. He starts banging on Crow’s chest, each hit from his tiny fists causing a sharp pain in Crow’s heart. “I don’t care who does it. I don’t want to see you die at all!”

“Akira—”

“You’re… you’re the most important person in the world to me,” Akira sniffs. “I-I love you, Robin Hood! Why don’t you understand that? I… I…!”

This time the action is natural. Crow wraps his arms around the small boy again and buries his face in Akira’s neck. “I do. I understand.” His voice is quiet. He’s never felt this way about anyone before. What is happening to him? “You’re the most important person in the world to me too.”

Akira starts crying even harder at that statement. “Y-you’re just lying to make me feel better,” he hiccups. “I’m never important to anyone.”

“Really?” Crow deadpans. “Do I look like the type of person who would do that?”

Akira’s nose scrunches up a little. “N-no, but…”

Crow pulls back, hands on the boy’s shoulders, making sure to look him right in the eyes. “Akira,” he says softly. “I would do unspeakable things to make you happy.”

Akira gapes at him, mouth hanging open uselessly. He doesn’t know where the words came from either. But he finds that they’re not wrong. He would do anything for his sake. He would shoulder whatever burden, protect him from any trouble. He would even kill a man if it’d save Akira.

What has this boy _done_ to him?

The sound of footsteps echo behind him as the other pair returns. Goro immediately takes a worried look at the two of them and rushes over to Akira, giving him a big hug.

Joker has his hands in his pockets, an unreadable look on his face. “How did it go?”

He doesn’t know. Akira had cried, and then cried some more, and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to fix what he apparently did last loop. “Fine,” he says shortly.

Joker casts a doubtful look at Akira’s tear stained face, but thankfully changes the topic. “Hey,” he leans close, voice no louder than a whisper. “I’ve been thinking.”

“Dangerous,” Crow snarks, because competitive banter is familiar to him. He doesn’t want Joker to go back to the person he saw when he first woke up, the look of desperation, frustration and anger written all over his face, yelling at Crow for dying again.

He wonders if that’s what Joker looked like in the engine room when he shut the bulkhead wall.

Joker gives him a small smile, though it disappears quickly. “It’s been three loops so far,” he says quietly. “And everyone else has already, you know. Do you think that means that…”

Crow understands what he’s talking about immediately. “You’re saying you want to die next,” he says flatly.

“It’s worth a shot.”

Crow stares at him. Joker looks dead serious. “I’m not feeding your savior complex,” he says finally, because he knows that Joker is saying this because of some misplaced guilt—as if he is somehow responsible for the other three deaths—but Crow can’t deny that he’s curious if the theory is true.

“That’s fine,” Joker says. “As long as you don’t stop me when the time comes.”

There’s the sound of footsteps, and then something latches onto his leg. It’s Akira, who seems to have buried his whole face into Crow’s suit so that his face isn’t visible anymore.

“Did you mean it?” Akira mumbles. “W-what you said before.”

Crow shifts awkwardly. Did he have to bring it up _now_? “Sure.”

“Okay.” Akira takes a deep breath. “Okay. I forgive you. But if you ever make me do that again, I’m not talking to you anymore! A-and I’m going to be really mad at you! And I’m going to put lots of sugar in your coffee when we get back!”

“I don’t need your forgiveness,” Crow snaps back instinctively. But Akira won’t let go of his leg and both Goro and Joker are giving them fond looks. He has to look away before he catches whatever sap disease all of them have been infected with.

Idiots. All of them.

* * *

They progress through the maze the same as they’ve done twice already. Michael greets them once more, wielding its massive sword. They fall into formation easily, and Crow’s surprised to see Goro assume the role of navi.

Apparently it had been his idea. Of course it had been. Joker would never suggest anything other than for his precious little Goro to stand uselessly in the corner.

He’s taken his sword out and is readying his battle stance when he hears Joker murmur, “Every time I see this guy, I feel like I need more therapy.” Crow barks out a harsh laugh, but he’s inclined to agree.

It’d be wonderful if he never had to see this ugly face again.

They make quick work of the Shadow this time, experience coming in handy now that Goro seems to have found the monster’s weak points. After that, they continue to retread their previous path, though it is all new to Crow without his memories.

He documents it carefully. Joker had gone to check out the left path in the maze, the place that Akira had died in the first loop. It was a colorful meadow with a large winding tree in the middle. Not anywhere they recognized. Crow catalogues it into its own section.

Next they had the interrogation room. Then the jazz club in Kichiouji. Then, according to Joker, the engine room on the ship.

It’s clear that this has something to do with him and Joker. Even the meadow place that they don’t recognize has to be connected to the two of them in some way.

So is this palace Maruki’s then? Somehow, he doubts it. Even though his opinion of the man is barely better than that of Shido’s, he knows that Maruki truly believes that he’s doing what’s right for the world. He believes that he can grant everyone’s happiness, even if that means treating everyone like puppets.

He doesn’t think that killing the four of them over and over again is something that aligns with Maruki’s beliefs.

But then who? Whose Palace is this? He has many enemies, but kind and easygoing Joker doesn’t, and this is clearly about both of them. The only people other than Maruki who are connected to both are the Phantom Thieves, but he doesn’t think any of them would ever wish anything like this, not on Crow who has ruined their lives, and definitely not on their precious leader.

And the enemies. They’ve only run into four so far, and all of them have been angels. There’s the Michael he remembers, and according to Joker, the two in the engine room had been a Gabriel and a Uriel. What does that mean?

There’s an answer pounding in his skull. He’s so close.

“Hey Crow,” Joker calls, interrupting his thoughts. He’s shaking a bag of yakisoba pan in front of his face. “Eat up.”

Crow takes the offered bread and takes a bite, and then notices Akira staring at him with a defensive expression on his face. “What?”

“Are you going to take my bread from me?” he asks, holding his own yakisoba pan out of reach.

Crow has no idea what he’s talking about. “Why the hell would I do that?”

Akira visibly relaxes. “I think he got nicer,” he whispers loudly to Goro.

Crow feels a sudden urge to snatch the bread away and eat it, but he tempers that urge down because he’s not seven years old. “You think I got nicer?” he sneers, making sure to bare his teeth menacingly.

Akira beams at him. “Yeah! Because you said that I’m the most important person in the world to you!”

Crow wants to smack him. Joker lets out a scandalized gasp. “ _Goro Akechi_ said that?”

Akira, who apparently has lost the ability to read the room and all his self-preservation along with it, grins happily and says, “He said he would do _anything_ for me.”

Joker and Akira both turn and give him looks of such adoration that he has to forcibly turn himself away to avoid shoving his water bottle up places it shouldn’t go out of sheer embarrassment.

* * *

They’re crawling through the ship again, though this time they’re making sure to avoid the engine room area that they passed by last time. Goro in particular seems to have taken to his role as navi very well, keeping an eye out for any Shadows or other dangers. It’s almost impressive.

Akira is sticking to him like a barnacle, plastering himself to Crow’s side as if trying to protect him with his body. He doesn’t do anything to dislodge the younger boy, though he makes sure to step on his toes sometimes just to annoy him.

There’s a loud gasp in front of them, and Goro comes running over, eyes wide. Crow almost laughs at the look of sheer fear crossing over Joker’s face as he quickly checks him for injuries.

Joker pats Goro’s head. “You okay?” he asks gently.

“Yes,” Goro nods, and then points to somewhere ahead of them. “I-it’s that cafe place!”

Sure enough, the musty interior of the ship gives way to the homier and comfortable atmosphere of Leblanc. The ceiling lights cast a dim shadow on the store, and if it wasn’t for the telltale signs of metaverse distortions around the corners of the room, it looked almost real enough to be believable.

If he stares hard enough, he can almost see two teenagers chatting over the counter. Joker, with his dexterous fingers siphoning through the coffee beans, smiling easily. Himself, sitting on the stool, a pleasant expression on his face as he flipped through various casework.

He pushes that thought out of his mind. Those days are gone. He was pretending the whole time, and Joker was too if he already knew about Crow’s plan. None of it was real.

“I don’t understand,” Joker murmurs, eyes tracing around the room. “Why is Leblanc here?”

“It’s not just bad memories. The jazz club is here as well,” Crow informs him. “As long as it relates to both of us.”

Joker looks around shakily. His fingers trace the counter, as if trying to notice any discrepancies.

Akira is blinking confusedly, head swiveling back and forth as he takes in the place. “I don’t get it,” he says. “What is this place?”

Leblanc is… a lot of things to him. At first it was just a place of investigation, a convenient excuse to let him get close to the leader of the Phantom Thieves. Then it was a location he could retreat to when things got rough, a safe haven to escape to whenever he had to deal with Shido’s ire, the public’s dislike for him, the blood on his hands—or maybe all at once.

And then after that, it was a coffin. A sacred place that held Akira Kurusu’s corpse that he would never be able to visit again.

“Home,” his voice says. It takes awhile for him to realize that Goro’s the one who spoke instead of him.

“Home?” Akira bounces on his feet excitedly. “It looks so cool! Robin Hood’s apartment is dirty sometimes and his kitchen is really small and he’s not very good at cooking—ow!” He grabs his hip and glares at Crow.

“Don’t tell me Joker’s been keeping you in that tiny attic he calls a home,” Crow drawls.

Goro nods. “I-it’s really nice! There’s a lot of sunlight and the bed is comfortable and I’m never cold at night.”

Crow has been in the attic before, and the place is dim and the bed is rock hard and the flimsy blanket barely retains any heat. But Goro’s eyes are glowing and he’s speaking animatedly as if the attic is the most wonderful place on earth. And for him, it probably is. It’s not like the place he lived in with his mom was anything other than four empty walls chaining them into a house of hardship and struggles.

He turns away. He can’t stand that childish ignorance, that naïve glint in Goro’s eyes. That kindhearted, happy smile that will be erased from the world forever when Goro comes home one day and sees a body in the bathtub, pale and not breathing.

Or maybe it’ll be different. Maybe Goro will have become so desensitized to death that he’ll simply smile and sit next to the corpse and wait hopefully for time to reset.

Crow hopes that doesn’t happen. His mom deserves better than that.

“Crow.” Joker is tugging on his wrist. “Look over there.”

In one of the booths, there’s something shining. The telltale sparkle of an unformed treasure.

“The treasure room,” Crow murmurs under his breath, approaching the light slowly. “Why here and not Shido’s ship? Unless there’s something that’s supposed to happen here…”

Before he can continue further, a whirl of wind rushes past him. There’s a scream, and he turns around to see a black shadowy mass holding Akira and Goro, both kids squirming fruitlessly in its grasp.

Fuck. Leblanc never fails to make him lower his guard.

“Goro! Akira!” Joker calls, but stops in his tracks when the Shadow makes a show of tightening its grip. One of Joker’s hands is on his mask, his eyes underneath glaring furiously.

“Who are you?” Crow asks calmly, even though he’d love nothing more than to run his sword through the hand currently wrapped around Akira’s neck.

The Shadow doesn’t even spare him a glance. “Come here,” it intones, voice distorted beyond recognition. “I will release them if you do.”

Joker stares at it silently for a bit but then seemingly agrees, raising his hands placatingly in the air as he approaches slowly.

The treasure sits behind them, still glittering in its pure state. Even if they could get the treasure to form, there’s no way they can all get out of here alive before the place collapses or the ruler decides to kill the two kids. Their best bet is to reset the loop and find a way to send a calling card before this whole thing happens. And based on what Joker said earlier, he wants to be the one to die this time.

Crow frowns. Something’s not right.

The shadowy mass of the ruler is staring straight at Joker, paying no attention to the two squirming kids in its grasp. It doesn’t look at Crow either. But why? The places in this palace are clearly connected to both of them, and even though Joker has a plethora of different Personas, Crow can still go toe to toe with him with just two. He’s not _weak_.

Is it because of that thing the adult Akira in his world talked about? He remembers a conversation held in the laundromat, a quick retelling of everything that had happened ever since he had disappeared in Shido’s ship.

At that time, he had only focused on the part about Shido being locked up behind bars, his whole revenge plot flushed down the drain. But there was something else said, right?

Oh right. Joker was a _wildcard_ , because of course he had to be special.

Something clicks in his mind, and his eyes widen.

Joker stops in front of the palace ruler. The black mass doesn’t seem to have a mouth, but the sound of loud, unhinged laughter still rings out across the cafe. “Finally,” it cackles. It drops Akira on the ground to reach for Joker with its free hand. “Finally, I can _kill_ you…”

Akira’s gasping and wheezing for breath on the ground, but he can’t go to him. Not when he sees Joker’s arm reaching for the pocket where he keeps his gun, not when he knows that they’re about to make a big mistake if this continues.

“Akira, close your eyes,” Crow orders, and luckily the boy does what he’s told immediately, squeezing his eyes shut firmly. He can still see the boy’s tearstained face in his mind and he hopes that this will protect Akira enough from what he’s about to do. He isn’t sure Akira is going to forgive him again.

Joker watches in horror as Crow takes out his gun and points it at his own head. As expected, the palace ruler pays him no attention at all. He’s not the target, after all. “W-what are you doing?” Joker chokes out. “You promised you wouldn’t!”

“I can’t let you do that. He’s after you.” Crow takes one last look at Akira, still on the ground trying to catch his breath, before looking back to Joker. “This whole Palace was created out of the desire to make you suffer. If you die, the loop will end.”

Joker’s eyes widen. “This is about me?”

“Of course. You’re always special, aren’t you?” he flicks the trigger off. The weight of the gun feels heavy against his forehead. Even after dying so many times already, it’s still frightening. He doesn’t want to die.

But he never gets a choice. Whether it’s with his father, Maruki, or even gods, no one ever asks before tossing his life around. “But you made it this way, didn’t you?” he glances at the black shadowy figure. “Isn’t that right, Yaldabaoth?”

Joker gasps, but Crow doesn’t take his eyes off the god. He thinks he sees a flicker of skin, a shadow of a man with a long nose and bulging eyes appearing amidst the dark mass, his lips curling up into an uncomfortable smile. And then it’s gone, its head replaced by several human silhouettes, reaching forward with their mouths open in silent screams.

Crow sneers in disgust. So this is the god of control. What a load of bullshit. For someone who claimed to be the god for the people, it took one mere mortal for it to spawn its own palace out of intense hatred. Pathetic.

With one last disgusted look at the wriggling mass of cognitive shadows, Crow pulls the trigger.

* * *

Crow wakes up in a small room.

He sits up, rubbing his head. There’s something pounding in his skull, and he can still see the sight of Joker hunched over Goro, head bowed as tears fell from his cheeks.

The same Joker who seems to be stomping over with a look of pure fury on his face. Huh.

“Jo—” is all he gets out before Joker hauls him to his feet and crushes their lips together.

Well. Okay then.

There’s a desperation as Joker moves their mouths together. Never one to back down from a challenge, Crow returns the intensity, biting down on his bottom lip and taking advantage of Joker’s gasp to push his tongue into his mouth.

Joker tastes like coffee and blood. Crow’s pulling him closer to see just how far he can take this when he suddenly remembers the two kids waiting for them on the other side of the maze. He grabs a fistful of Joker’s hair and yanks him back.

Joker looks dazed, his lips red and swollen. There’s a trail of blood running down his mouth that he licks absentmindedly, and Crow wants nothing more than to push him down and devour him again.

He takes a deep breath. Thinks of that time Akira got flour in his nose and started sneezing snot everywhere. It helps calm him down.

“What was that?” he asks, his voice coming out hoarser than expected. He’s not _complaining_ ; Joker’s not that bad looking, after all. But it seems strange that he’d be in the mood when Goro just died.

Joker blinks at him, as if coming back to reality. “Payment,” he says, suddenly looking bashful and rubbing the back of his neck. “Every time you die, I need a kiss as therapy or else I’ll go crazy.”

Crow stares at him. “What?”

“Never mind.” Joker gives him a wry smile before it melts into a determined look. “Up for stealing some treasure?”

Crow _really_ wishes he could remember what the hell the other boy was talking about. “We found it?”

“Yeah.” Joker cocks his fingers back, but there is a look of dead seriousness and contained fury in his eyes. “Ready to kill a god?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty to sora for helping name this fic even though she had no context at all
> 
> me: what if yaldy had a palace  
> sora: i don't think that's possible  
> me: ok sure but wouldn't it be cool if he did :D  
> sora: :/
> 
> sorry if any of this is confusing. hopefully it'll be clarified by next chapter!  
> thank you guys so much for reading and supporting this fic. <3  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/nagittos)


	5. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira sits up and smiles at him. “Even if we get separated for a while, it’s okay! I won’t ever forget you.” 
> 
> “Yeah,” Goro says softly. “It’d be nice if we could meet again.”
> 
> “We will,” Akira promises, a look of determination crossing over his face. “If we don’t, then I’ll come find you, Goro. I promise.”
> 
> Goro gives him a toothy grin and links their pinkies together. “Okay. I’ll be waiting!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for following not only this fic, but this series for all this time! More at the end, but I really appreciate y'all, and hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> It jumps between different povs a lot so here's a cheat sheet if things get too annoying: Akira > Crow > Joker > Goro > Akira > Goro

Akira tackles Robin Hood to the ground when he sees him.

“ _Motherfucker_ ,” he hears Robin Hood hiss in pain, but he doesn’t let go. Maybe it’s because he didn’t see it this time, but it doesn’t hurt as much as when Robin Hood asked him to pull the trigger. It still doesn’t feel good. But at least he doesn’t want to bury into the ground and cry and never come out again.

Maybe he’s getting used to it. That’s good. Then maybe if Robin Hood has to die again, his heart will stop squeezing painfully at the thought that the one person he loves the most in the world might eventually abandon him too.

“I love you, Robin Hood,” Akira says. He knows that Robin Hood lost all his memories and he’s a little afraid the older boy no longer feels the same, but he plows ahead anyway. “You’re the most important person in the world to me. I’m glad you’re alive.”

Robin Hood stares wordlessly at him. For a moment Akira thinks that he’s wrong, that Robin Hood is going to laugh at him for being so dumb and sentimental.

But then the older boy pats his shoulder once awkwardly. “Yeah,” he says. “I know.”

He doesn’t say the thing he said last time again, but Akira understands. He can hear _I would do unspeakable things to make you happy_ playing on repeat in his brain, and he holds that memory closely to his heart.

Robin Hood doesn’t say it again, but Akira knows that he cares about him. And that’s all that matters.

Currently, Robin Hood and Joker are over near the corner of the room, arguing about something in increasingly loud voices. Akira wanders over to Goro, who is kneeling on the ground scribbling on something.

“What are you doing?” Akira peers over his shoulder and gasps.

Goro is drawing on a small red card. He can make out a small Joker mask in the middle, and a Robin Hood mask a little to the side. And then there’s two small stick figures on the bottom of the card holding hands. One has brown hair, and the other black.

Goro smiles hesitantly. “Joker-san asked me to make a _calling card_ ,” he says. “Sorry, I’m not very good at drawing…”

“No, it’s amazing!” Akira grins, kneeling down next to him. He can’t take his eyes off the two stick figures on the bottom. They look so _happy_. “It’s like we’re a family!”

“Family,” Goro mouths, looking amazed. “Is that okay? M-mom always said she was my only family.”

“I think it’s fine.” Akira bobs his head up and down. “I read in books that families are supposed to make you feel warm.” He presses a hand against his chest and his heart beats back to the rhythm of _You’re the most important person in the world to me too._ “And Mom and Dad don’t make me feel like that, so I always wondered if there was something wrong with me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you!” Goro exclaims. “You’re so nice and strong and cool. I still don’t know why you want to hang out with me.”

Akira’s mouth drops open. “You’re so smart and caring and funny. I’m the one who feels lucky that you want to talk to me!”

Goro stares at him, and then places a hand to his own chest. “That warm feeling you mentioned earlier,” he mumbles, biting on his lower lip. “I feel that when I’m with you too.”

Akira’s smile grows three sizes. “That’s great! Me too!” he says a little too loudly, but he doesn’t care; he’s so happy. “That must mean we’re a family.”

“Oh.” Goro blinks. “I-is it okay if Mom is part of the family too?”

“Of course! She’s important to you, right?” Goro nods. “Then that settles it. We’re a family of five. Hey, what do you think families do?”

Goro ponders the question for a moment. “Some of my classmates say that their parents bring them to the playground, or the park, or to get food.”

“Huh, really?” Akira tries to imagine his own parents doing that. All he can see is his dad brushing past him with a suitcase in hand. All he can see is his mom tossing the card he made her onto the kitchen counter without glancing at it. “They have time to do that?”

“I think so.” Goro gives him a toothy grin and then tentatively offers out a pinky. “L-let’s go together one day?” he asks hopefully.

Akira doesn’t hesitate and loops his pinky through Goro’s outstretched one. “It’s a promise.”

Then he glances down at the card with the drawing—of their _family_ , a voice inside him whispers excitedly—and blinks. “So. What’s a calling card?”

“I’m not really sure,” Goro admits softly, turning it over. It’s completely blank. “Joker-san said it’s kind of like a warning to the bad guy that we’re going to go steal their important things.”

Akira’s eyes light up. “That’s so cool! Kind of like a _we’re coming, and you can’t stop us_ thing that superheroes always do in movies. Do you know what you’re going to write yet?”

Goro shakes his head. “Not yet. Maybe something like…” he scribbles something in the corner of the card. “We will be coming soon. Please be ready.”

Akira wrinkles his nose. “That’s too polite. I don’t want to be nice to someone who hurt my family.”

Understanding dawns Goro’s eyes. “Oh, you’re right.” He writes _WE’RE COMING TO FIGHT YOU_ in big letters.

“That’s good,” Akira bobs his head, and then reaches for the pencil and writes _YOU’RE A BIG MEANIE._

Goro giggles. _JOKER-SAN AND ROBIN HOOD ARE STRONGER THAN YOU._

_NO ONE LIKES YOU._

_STOP BEING A BULLY._

The card is suddenly plucked from their fingers. “What is this?” Robin Hood frowns, and he looks so exasperated that both of them can’t help but dissolve into giggles.

“I told Goro to make a calling card,” Joker explains, hands in his pocket. “Is it done?”

Robin Hood waves the card in front of his face. “Do you _see_ this?” he hisses.

Joker reads it quickly and then smiles. “That’s cute. Do you think Yaldabaoth would give it back to me if I asked? I want to frame it.”

“Will he even know what’s happening? This reads more like a teenage prank than a calling card. Take this seriously, Joker. We _need_ the treasure to materialize.”

Joker sighs and grabs the pencil, writing something on it. “There,” he says, pointing to the large _STEAL, DISORTED, DESIRES, TREASURE, MATERIALIZE._ “I put the keywords. I’m sure he’ll be able to connect the dots. He’s seen it so many times already.”

Robin Hood rolls his eyes. “How did the Phantom Thieves manage to get this far with you as their leader?”

“Uh, not sure actually. Makoto, probably.”

* * *

They step into Leblanc once again. Akira is plastered to his side, gripping his gun tightly in one hand. Goro runs over to the counter and slides the calling card over, and then retreats to hide underneath Joker’s coat.

Crow watches the cafe carefully, and this time he sees when Yaldabaoth materializes by the foot of the stairs. He seems to be phasing through two forms—one with the old man with a long nose, and the other with several human silhouettes—though it doesn’t seem like he’s doing it on purpose. This is weird. This whole Palace has been weird, from the ruler to the locations to the death loop. Not to mention, isn’t Yaldabaoth supposed to be _dead_? Joker said they defeated him around Christmas, but then why was he still here?

Yaldabaoth glances toward the calling card on the table. For a second nothing happens, and Crow thinks that they’re going to have to endure another death just because he couldn’t stop Akira from scribbling _I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO_ last minute.

But then there’s a bright flash of light. The treasure materializes into something small, but it’s gone before he can get a better look at it, whisked away somewhere behind Yaldabaoth’s body. That’s fine. They can worry about it after they beat this motherfucker to the ground.

“Why does he look like that?” Crow demands as he and Joker ready their weapons. Behind him, he sees Goro inching toward the counter. “You’re telling me that God is a wrinkly old fuck with a carrot-shaped lump of flesh for a nose?

Joker winces at the description. “He was impersonating Igor from the Velvet Room. The one who watched over whenever I asked Justine and Caroline to execute some Personas? Er, well, I guess they fused into Lavenza now.” Crow stares at him uncomprehendingly. “Sorry. I’ll explain later.”

“You,” Yaldabaoth booms. And then the ceilings of cafe explode apart, and the scenery of Mementos blends in with the homely atmosphere of Leblanc. It’s jarring. “I can finally kill you.”

“Ready to go?” Joker quips, ignoring Yaldabaoth completely. Crow was born ready. Finally he can take back some control, to beat up one of the pieces of shit who have been toying with his life. Shido is… unfortunately out of reach now, but this so-called _God_ is right in front of him, just asking to be taught a lesson. “Don’t go dying on me again, Crow.”

Crow thinks about the engine room, the steel wall separating him from the Phantom Thieves. He thinks about Kunikazu Okumura and Wakaba Isshiki, alive and well in the false reality. He thinks about a certain teenage hitman’s corpse wandering around, masquerading as a living human being.

If he’s right, then this isn’t a promise he can keep. But he nods at Joker anyway.

That’s for him to deal with. If all goes according to plan, they’ll go back to their original worlds. He will beat Maruki to the ground, return Akira to normal, and then fade away before anyone realizes he’s gone.

That’s the only ending he can hope for now.

Yaldabaoth transforms into his boss form, which appears to be some kind of angel, though it looks a lot more mechanical than the other ones they’ve run into so far.

Joker stares at him, eyes hardening. “He really just wants round 2, huh,” he murmurs, and then reaches toward his mask.

And then the battle begins.

Joker had filled him in on the way here. About Yaldabaoth, his plans for the two of them, and the Phantom Thieves’ fight against him. Not for the first time since his convenient resurrection, Crow wonders what things would have been like if only he was a little faster in the engine room. If only he didn’t die to that pathetic cognition in his father’s ship. If only he had the pleasure of shooting both Shido and Yaldabaoth in the fucking face.

Whatever. The god has kindly served himself up on a silver platter for him to try again. He’ll just do it now.

He watches out for the arms, spewing weird substances in all directions. He calls out to Loki, to Robin Hood, to both of them at once, the two Personas tearing out of him with angry howls. Next to him, Joker switches through his collection quickly, aiming for the weaknesses of each arm with deadly precision. It certainly helps that he already knows all their weak points.

Crow finishes slashing off one of the arms and is about to go for another when a bar stool goes flying over his head and crashes into the ruler’s body. It does more to confuse him than actual damage, but the slight moment of hesitation is enough for Joker to jump in and hit another one of Yaldabaoth’s weak points.

Crow glances over his shoulder to see Akira and Goro huddled near the counter. Honestly, if Joker turned around and saw Akira wielding a gun and Goro clutching a chair to throw, he might have a heart attack.

Akira gives him a tiny smile over his gun. That’s right. These two brats are still here, physical representations of what could have happened if only he and Joker met earlier. Watching them interact gives him a certain feeling that he doesn’t feel inclined to analyze, instead letting it seep quietly through his bones as he watches the two boys fight together.

Crow points at his forehead, tapping it twice, the spot where he shot Joker and watched his corpse bleed out onto the cold interrogation room table. Akira’s eyes widen in understanding almost immediately and he gives him a nod, turning to whisper something to Goro.

There’s probably a word to describe what he feels for Akira right now. Maybe it’s “pride”. But he pushes that thought out of his head; he has a battle to fight.

He jumps in after Joker retreats, a continuous and prolonged showtime to give Yaldabaoth no time to recover. This is different from when he fought with the Phantom Thieves because he doesn’t need to hold back at all; Joker has proven time and time again that he can keep up with him easily.

This is different from when he fought alone, because now there are three people to watch his back.

Yaldabaoth spews a couple more angry gurgles at Joker, about how he took everything away from him and destroyed the world he had built. Honestly, it’s strangely reminiscent to the embarrassing speech Crow himself had given in the engine room. Joker seems to have an uncanny ability to wretch out all the ugly jealousy in people.

However, Joker ignores the god completely, giving Crow a slight nod, and then they both jump in together again.

It feels strangely exhilarating, to see the normally calm and understanding Joker be so fed up with someone that he rushes straight into the fight. Crow decides he likes him like this.

He and Joker finish off the remaining arms, and the god stumbles backwards. Joker is about to follow through when another chair sails through the air and lands uselessly at their feet, splintering into many pieces almost instantly.

“Wha—?” Joker blinks, whirling around. Yaldabaoth also turns to look, unknowingly lining up his head in a straight line to the tip of Akira’s gun.

Goro’s standing next to Akira, a steadying presence. And then Crow watches as the boy who almost shot his own foot off just a week ago presses the trigger with confidence, watches as the bullet sails straight at Yaldabaoth’s head, watches as the metallic material of the god’s head caves in to form one perfect circle.

Yaldabaoth screeches loudly, flailing around. Crow ducks out of the way and looks at him wearily, sword still positioned to attack at any moment.

But then the god stops moving and his body starts pitching forward, slowly and dramatically. He crashes down to the ground the same way Joker’s cognitive shadow had, hitting the floor and shattering.

By the time the dust clears, there’s nothing left of him anymore. Just the shining glow of the treasure remaining.

He can hear Goro and Akira cheering in the background, but he stares down at the ground where the god died for the second time. Once again, he hands over the kill, the spotlight, his entire life’s purpose, all on a silver platter to Akira Kurusu. It seems that no matter if Akira is seven or seventeen, Goro Akechi will always be second best.

But it doesn’t feel terrible this time.

In fact, he’s feeling pretty good until he sees a certain someone materialize in the corner of his eyes. They peek around curiously at all the damage before looking up at the four of them with a smile, hand raised in a half wave.

“Hello,” the man says easily.

It’s fucking Maruki.

* * *

Joker barely manages to restrain Crow before he launches forward and attempts to stab Maruki right in the stomach.

“Let me _go_ ,” Crow hisses. “I won’t be satisfied until I stab him once.”

Everyone in the room knows he won’t stop at just once.

Maruki laughs, though he doesn’t step any closer. “I see you haven’t changed at all, Akechi-kun. I’m glad all of you are alright.”

Joker stares at him. “Was this all your doing?”

“I’m sure you have a lot of questions, and I’ll be happy to explain. This is partially my fault.” He looks towards the two kids. “Would you two like to do something fun in the meantime?”

“Uh…” Akira says, eyes wide. Both of them look startled by the addition of a new face, unsure if he’s a friend or a foe.

Maruki waves his hand once and Leblanc rebuilds itself. The chairs that Goro threw return to their original positions, the lights flicker back on, and it looks once again like the cafe he has come to call home. “Why don’t you show Akira the attic, Goro?” Maruki asks. “I’m sure he’d be very excited to see your home.”

Goro looks hesitantly at Joker.

He thinks for a bit, and then sighs. “Sure,” he says. There’s obviously something Maruki doesn’t want them to hear. “We’ll come get you when we’re done talking, okay?”

The two kids still look uncertain. But they finally nod and go up the stairs, clutching each other’s hands tightly.

Maruki watches them head upstairs with a fond look on his face. He reminds Joker so much of the man he remembers, the one who sat in the nurse’s office in Shujin and rambled about his thesis and his snacks. It’s hard to connect him with the man that they’re fighting to defeat in order to save the world.

“What do you want?” Crow scowls. He has given up on attacking Maruki, though Joker notices that he still hasn’t put his sword away yet.

Maruki bows slightly. “I wanted to apologize to you. I never imagined that something like this would happen. He—Yaldabaoth, was he called?—was never supposed to be here.”

“Then why was he here?” Joker asks, leaning against the counter. “I thought he was dead.”

“He was. I was there on the day that the sky turned red and the Phantom Thieves fought against him,” Maruki says smoothly. “Coincidentally, it was the day I awoke to my Persona.”

Crow narrows his eyes. “That’s what you meant by this being your responsibility.”

“Yes,” Maruki sighs. “After you defeated him, Yaldabaoth made a wish as he was dying. He wanted to see you suffer as much as possible and then defeat you. He thought your victory was a fluke. And, well, you know what my powers of actualization do.”

Joker blinks.

“So even though he was dead, he wanted this so much that you inadvertently granted it,” Crow sneers. “You’re useless.”

Maruki looks apologetic. “I can’t apologize enough for it. I wanted to stop it. I really did. But I underestimated how much power a god, even a deceased one, has.”

“That’s because you’re a sham,” Crow scowls. Maruki does a very good job pretending he didn’t hear anything.

“Then what was the loop about?” Joker asks. “I don’t think that’s something Yaldabaoth would have bothered with.”

“No, that was you four.” Maruki gives them a gentle look. “Whenever any of you were about to die, you wished hard enough for it to be reverted that it overrode Yaldabaoth’s wish.”

“But then why did it only work then?” he demands. He can’t count how many times he wished for all of them to be safe, for them to find an exit to leave this forsaken place, for all of this to just end. But nothing ever happened.

“I was wondering how conflicting wishes would work in this reality. It seems that the rules are flimsier than I thought,” Crow scoffs. “One wish can overturn another just by being more powerful.”

Joker feels sick. It took them seeing each other dying to overpower the strength of Yaldabaoth’s hatred for him? Does that mean the fact that the dying person lost all their memories of their death was their own wish, a wish powerful enough to overturn Yaldabaoth’s desire to see them suffer?

How much pain were they in? How much fear did they feel?

“I’m sorry,” Maruki says. “I’m still ironing this reality out. I assure you that by the time I’m done, conflicting wishes won’t cause such a spectacle again.”

“Fuck you.” Crow rolls his eyes. “Why are we here anyway? If he was only after Joker, there’s no explanation for why Akira and I are here as well.”

“Well, I’m just speculating here. I’m not sure what was going on in his mind,” Maruki says. “But given the choice in locations, it appears that Yaldabaoth wanted to recreate his fight with the wildcards pitted against each other. And given the current state that Goro is in, he had to make do. It wouldn’t be entertaining for him to see Kurusu-kun fight against a kid.”

“Then why didn’t he just take the Joker of this world?” Crow demands. “Am I a seven year old in this world too?”

“No, but…” Maruki glances at Crow’s sword a little warily. “The Kurusu in this world has taken my offer already. He is living happily here with the Goro Akechi of this world. Yaldabaoth knew he wouldn’t be getting the reaction he wanted if he involved those two.”

Crow looks like he’s two seconds away from committing murder. Joker quickly cuts in. “So what do we do now?” he asks. “Do we just take the treasure and leave?”

“Yes. Once the treasure is gone and the Palace disappears, there will be nothing binding you to this world anymore. You will be transported back to your old one.”

“Finally, get me out of this place,” Crow murmurs, reaching out for the treasure, but Joker lunges forward and grabs his wrist.

“No,” he says. “Can we wait a little? Maybe an hour?”

Crow glares at him. “You can’t be saying you want to stay in this world any longer,” he sneers.

“No, I don’t. But…” he thinks about the two boys upstairs. He remembers how happy Goro had looked, when he and Akira had drawn the calling card together, or when they had gone scavenger hunting through the back room of the jazz club, or when they high fived each other after each fight.

He can be a brother to Goro, or even a father figure.

But he can’t be a friend. Goro won’t let him be.

And so if Akira can fulfill that role while they’re still here, then he wants to stay here just a little while longer. Because he’s pretty sure that once they go back... well, both he and Crow are well aware of Maruki’s nature.

He’s pretty sure Maruki is going to send them off with a parting gift out of “generosity”.

Crow takes one look at him and sighs. “You’re a sentimental fool,” he scoffs, but makes no further move to take the treasure. “Fine. One hour it is, then.” He narrows his eyes at Maruki. “And you better not be here.”

Maruki raises his hands placatingly. “Don’t worry, I’ll leave. You kids have fun.” He smiles at Crow. “Do consider my offer when you get back to your world, will you? I promise that things will be better and you won’t have to d—”

He barely manages to teleport out of the cafe before Crow lets out an angry snarl and slams his sword down so hard the table breaks in half.

* * *

“Is this really okay?” Goro asks, eyes wide.

Joker had just come up to the attic to tell them that the battle was over and they had an hour together before they had to go home, so they should do something fun. Before he could say anything else though, a very angry looking Robin Hood had stomped up the stairs and dragged him off somewhere.

Goro hopes he’s okay.

“Probably,” Akira says, sitting down on the mattress and wincing slightly. “They said we could do whatever we wanted, right? What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” Goro says softly. Now that they’re in familiar territory and don’t need to worry about bad monsters coming to hurt them anymore, he doesn’t know what he should talk to Akira about. What if Akira doesn’t like him when they’re not fighting?

He felt useful when Robin Hood told him to be the navigator for the team. It made him feel good about himself, that he was doing something to help everyone else. Akira had been really excited about it too.

He doesn’t want Akira to know that he doesn’t know how to do anything else.

“Hey,” Akira says, and Goro startles out of his thoughts when Akira grabs his hands. “Weren’t they so cool?”

Goro nods eagerly. “Robin Hood and Joker-san?” He remembers Joker using his hook shot to attack from the above while Robin Hood charged in from below. He hasn’t gotten to see Joker fight since the first day they met, but it’s still as cool as he remembers. “They defeated the bad guy really quickly.”

Akira beams at him and Goro smiles back. This is familiar. Goro might not be interesting or anyone worth knowing, but Joker is, and he can gush about how cool and heroic the older boy is all day.

Akira places a hand over his eyes. “Persona!” he says, and then mimics the pose Robin Hood’s striped Persona sits in. “Mwahaha. Loki, slaughter them!”

Goro giggles at Akira’s attempts to copy Robin Hood’s laughter. “Persona!” he says himself, and pretends to brush away a long, flowing cape. “Arsene, use Eigaon!”

He butchers the pronunciation horribly, but Akira doesn’t seem to care. He grins and rushes over to the desk where a snowman plushy sits and grabs it, placing it gently on the floor.

“Goro, that’s our enemy,” Akira says, assuming a battle stance. “We need to take it down before it freezes us and takes over the world!”

Goro gasps. That would be bad. He mentally flips through Joker’s collection of Personas and settles on one of them. “Persona! Come, um…” he can’t remember the name, so he says lamely, “Firesaurus.”

“No fair! Robin Hood only has two. I want to have cool ones too,” Akira pouts. But then he calls out to the white Persona and mimics a bow and arrow, shooting the snowman plushy right in the head.

“That’s because Joker-san is very cool,” Goro says proudly. “I’m just borrowing his Personas.”

Akira glances at him now that the threat has been vanquished and the world has been saved from an eternal frozen death. “He is, but Robin Hood is cooler. He goes bam, wham, swish, mwahaha die you fucker.”

Goro puffs up his cheeks. “Joker-san doesn’t need to be flashy to show that he’s the best.”

“Take that back!” Akira says, but he’s laughing, and then he’s pushing Goro onto the bed. Goro has a brief moment of panic—it always started like this, his classmates’ hands on him as they pushed him behind the school building and hit him and it always hurt, it hurt so much—but Akira doesn’t do anything like that. Instead, he jams his fingers into Goro’s side and tickles him. “Robin Hood is cooler! Admit it!”

Goro giggles and wrestles back, going for Akira’s armpits. “No, you’re wrong!” He squeals when a mischievous look appears on the other boy’s face. “You’re not ticklish? That’s not fair—hehehe, _Akira_ —”

Awhile later, both of them lay flat on their backs on the mattress, breathing heavily. Akira’s hand lays next to him and Goro reaches for it, a light feeling settling in his chest when Akira squeezes back.

“Do you think we’ll be able to see each other again?” Akira asks. “I want to play with you again.”

“Me too,” Goro admits. All his life, he has been categorizing people into small buckets in his mind. His classmates, his teachers, his father—all in the _don’t like me_ category. His mom, in the _I love you!_ bucket. Joker, in the newly created _my hero_ section.

And now Akira, in the _my friend!_ group. He always wondered if he was destined to never have a friend, if he was going to die alone like his classmates always said he would.

He’s glad he proved them wrong.

Akira sits up and smiles at him. “Even if we get separated for a while, it’s okay! I won’t ever forget you.”

“Yeah,” Goro says softly. “It’d be nice if we could meet again.”

“We will,” Akira promises, a look of determination crossing over his face. “If we don’t, then I’ll come find you, Goro. I promise.”

Goro gives him a toothy grin and links their pinkies together. “Okay. I’ll be waiting!”

* * *

The treasure turns out to be something that looks a lot like Joker’s gun.

“I shot him in the head with this the first time,” Joker says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “I guess since this Palace was born out of his hatred for me, it’d make sense that this was the cause of the distortion.”

Akira blinks. “Robin Hood, why is your lip bleeding?”

Robin Hood rolls his eyes. “Got bitten by a wild animal.” Joker’s face tints red and he aims a kick at Robin Hood’s thigh. The two of them exchange a look that ends up with Joker flushing even deeper and Robin Hood looking annoyed.

Akira’s not really sure what that was about. In fact, Joker’s hair looks a little messy too and his jacket is really wrinkled. Maybe they were also playfighting like he and Goro were?

Joker clears his throat and grabs Goro’s hand. “Well, we should get going now,” he says. “Goro, is there anything else you wanted to say?”

“Goodbye,” Goro waves, smiling. He looks much cuter and happier now. Akira thinks he should smile more often. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too!” Akira launches forward and gives Goro one last hug. He can’t stop the tears from falling. “S-sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay,” Goro says gently, wiping away Akira’s tears with his sleeve. His own eyes are shining wetly. “I understand.”

Joker lets them hug for a couple more minutes before patting them on the back. “Alright,” he says, reaching toward the gun. “I’ll be seeing you, Crow.”

Robin Hood rolls his eyes and makes a shooing motion. “Unfortunately.”

With the treasure stolen, a light envelopes the four of them. Joker grabs Goro’s hand gently and smiles. Akira does his best to commit the sight to memory. His family, together in this place Goro calls home.

He hopes he can find his way back here again.

When the light is almost blinding, Goro stares up at Robin Hood, biting on his bottom lip. And then he says quietly, “I hope I can be as strong as you when I grow up. So I can be a cool hero just like you.”

Robin Hood stares. But before he can say anything, Joker and Goro disappear from the cafe, going back to wherever they came from.

Akira glances down at his own hand, nearly translucent. “I hope it doesn’t hurt,” he says.

Robin Hood glances at him. “Wipe your face. It looks disgusting.”

Akira giggles and latches onto his belt, the material familiar under his fingers. “Well, your mouth is _still_ bleeding! And I think that’s more gross.” He thinks for a bit. “I still don’t understand what you meant by getting bitten by a wild animal. I haven’t seen any animals here.”

Robin Hood smirks. “Well, Akira,” he purrs. “When a man and a man hate each other very much—”

And then the world goes dark.

Akira wakes up to the sound of Robin Hood yelling something from the other room.

He pushes himself quickly out of bed, the mattress warm and soft and inviting under him. There’s a faint image of a bed propped up by a couple of crates, the sound of giggling, but when he tries to think about it too hard the memory escapes him, like water flowing through his fingers.

“Akira, if you’re not out here in five seconds I’m leaving you behind,” Robin Hood drawls.

Akira quickly shakes the thought out of his head and reaches for the gun in the drawer next to him, getting ready in record time. He skids to a halt next to Robin Hood, giving the older boy a big grin when he scowls down at him.

It’s okay. He’s sure he’ll remember what was so important to him some day. He might not be able to remember the details, but the warm feeling in his chest is real.

He’ll never forget it.

* * *

When Goro wakes up, there’s warm sunlight shining on his body and a soft pillow under his head and his feet are cold and peeking out from the bottom of the blanket, so he curls himself into a small ball and tries to burrow into the warmth.

The nice feeling of the dream washes over him and he remembers the fuzzy outline of three people. He remembers sitting in a circle and sharing food. He remembers a small pinky curled around his.

He remembers _family_.

There are footsteps walking up the stairs and Joker comes into view, balancing two full plates of curry and a cup of hot liquid in his hands. He’s still wearing his pajamas and he yawns, but he smiles when he notices that Goro is awake. “Sleep well?” he asks, placing the food on the table near the couch.

“Yes,” Goro says. “I-I had a nice dream!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ty lica for inspiring the playfighting scene
> 
> and thank you all for sticking with this series for so long! this managed to stretch over 60k+ words and i really appreciate that there are still people along for the ride. i hope you enjoyed the ending! (it was inspired by another game i will not name because of potential spoilers) and i hope you enjoyed this fic in general. it was a lot more plot-focused than anything i've ever written so hopefully it worked out okay!
> 
> thank you for following the adventures of babygoro and babykira :D goodbye for now!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/nagittos)


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